How does a divorce, even with out kids, mess one up so completely?

Today, I took the day off to apply for new jobs, the problem is I really have no idea what I want to do or what I want out of life. When I was teaching, I really did enjoy the actual teaching aspect, I just wasn't fond of the paycheck or not having my own classroom and not being seen as a "real" teacher by the students since I didn't have my own room and taught at two different schools. Before college, I absolutely loved my job as a receptionist at a real estate office. During college, I greatly enjoyed being a community advisor, working in the admissions office, being an Orientation Peer Advisor, staffing the front desk. etc. During graduate school, I enjoyed being a graduate assistant in the Counseling and Wellness Center supervising a group of 60+ students and 4 employees. Pretty much anything that kept me busy and had me interact with other people was great for me.

Now, in my job I have no co-workers, I have no actual work, and I'm bored throughout the entire day. I feel as though I haven't learned very much and that my brain is going haywire because I miss learning things. There were three constants in each type of work I enjoyed, one constant was the ability to be in charge and to always be learning, the other constant was to always be able to talk to Josh. Right now, I have neither of those constants and it's really mad me sad. I have no idea what I want to do. I know that I would like to make more money. Previously, money wasn't a big factor for me but Josh made a good amount and I did get use to that standard of living. I would like to be able to live like that again but I would also like to be able to do the things that we did together, together again. Knowing that won't ever happen crushes me and I just don't know how to get out of this state of feeling.

My goal today was to apply for some more jobs, instead I applied for one and took some more career interest surveys. I'm only 30 but yet I feel like I'm too old to be starting over and I've been having a lot of panic attacks regarding this.

I want to keep talking about the divorce because it does still hurt but I feel like I've talked about it too much too my friends and I'm not quite sure where to go from here. I just feel lost and incomplete inside. I know that some day I will be back there, I'm just not sure when and I really don't know how to speed up the healing process. Maybe when I figure out my next step for life, I'll start to feel better instead of like I just keep drifting into nowhere.