In one of our first counseling sessions, Josh said "I wish she would just get angry.". This statement has stuck with me over the past five months. I'm not an angry person, I'm pretty laid back and happy go lucky. I try not to let too much bother me. Even though the past five months has bothered me quite a bit. Today, was one of the first days I actually felt a little anger. I'm packing again today and as I was packing, I decided to look through the scrapbooks I had made. One of Josh's complaints is that I was never happy and am hard to please. Well, almost every picture we have is of us smiling and having fun. It makes me upset that he's said that I wasn't ever in the marriage when these pictures would show otherwise. I know that I wasn't the best wife the past two years but I have tried my best. I also know that a big part of it has to deal with his MBA program. He's made quite a few new friends, is well-liked and well respected and I didn't quite understand the importance of networking. Now that I've done quite a bit of research, I understand how important the networking is.
So, I'm still in the midst of packing and am now to wedding items, wedding gifts, wedding cards, wedding pictures, wedding gown, etc. What is the protocol on wedding items? We still have a lot that stuff now.
Other things on my mind this week: finding a a way to live abroad, finding a great job, the whole name changing thing, guilt and regrets of things I could have done better.
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