Energizer Bunny

Last night I was out with a couple of friends for a birthday party. These are people who have only known me since May. It was kind of nice because one of the people who I first met was telling me how he could see me change the past five months. What he doesn't know is that I'm finally starting to get back to my old self. When i first started these various groups, I was very down trodden, very sad, and just not in any way shape or form me. I still get sad quite a bit but it isn't as overwhelming as it was before. Another friend asked if I ever run out of energy because all I seem to do is go go go. I do get tired but all of the going going going keeps me distracted from thinking about the marriage and my part in the breakdown of the marriage and keeps me from being at home. I really do love my family and all, bu I miss my own place where i could just go and sit on the couch and read a good book with my cats and dog. But, I am going to be here for a while as I haven't saved up nearly as much as I would have liked to save thanks to the darn divorce.

Speaking of which, I finally received the files and guess what was in there?
Only the DVD! Admittedly, i was a bit bummed since a few weeks ago he said he was putting a sort of apology letter in there and I was looking forward to reading it becaue I thought it might help me realize that the fall out was not all completely my fault and that he doesn't think I am this awful, horrible human being. Nope, it was just the dvd. Not even a little post it note that said "hi- here's the dvd". Just the DVD. I know it shouldn't bother me but it still does, quite a bit actually. Wheni opened it and saw it was just the dvd, I cried quite a bit because I still don't understand how one can go through all of the things he did andI was hoping the letter would explain it. Oh well. All right, I have a lot of homework to catch up on as we have a quiz on Wednesday. I'm hoping that tonight I'll b eable to just stay in for a little while and not get convinced to do anything even though I know it is pretty unlikely.