Blessings in Disguise

Overall, this was a good weekend. Friday evening, I went out to a meetup group for dinner where I met new friends and interacted with old friends (well, I guess I can’t really say old as friends since I just met most of the people back in May). After dinner, a bunch of us went on to a bar and then on to some dancing. It was a great time; conversation was good as always.

Saturday, I was suppose to head off to a wedding in North Dakota. Originally, I had planned not to attend the wedding but a friend of mine was heading up in that general direction and asked if I wanted to come along for his event. We were going to car pool together and make a fun day of traveling. In the morning, I called my friend who was getting married to verify the location since I had lost the invitation when I moved into my parent’s house. When I talked to my friend, it turned out that I had the complete wrong city and the city where the wedding was actually taking place was an hour and half from the city where my other friend was heading. After thinking about it for a while, I decided to stay home and study. Of course, nothing turns out as planned. I was able to study for a while but I was getting frustrated with myself because I’m not quite understand the concept of the material. Whenever I seem to think that I understand, I try some of the multiple choice questions and I get them wrong. While studying some family things happened that needed to taken care of right away. After the family issues were somewhat resolved, a friend convinced me to go watch some football (I know absolutely nothing about football but this friend agreed to teach me and sat patiently explaining all of the details while I asked a thousand questions). After we sat at the restaurant for a long time, another friend texted to see if I wanted to go hit the town. I convinced the people I was with to head up to Uptown and we went and met new people and had a great time (for the most part). A little drama was spun up, but I guess that is to be expected. After some of the drama settled down, a couple of us decided to sit at a bar for last call. Those of you that know me personally, know I’m not a big drinker so I’m usually the designated driver. Which is quite fine with me. Again, this was the case so I had a sprite for last call  The drink of my choice all evening. While at the last bar, one girl who pours her heart out after she drinks a little too much started to tell me some I interesting details about a person I use to hang out with quite a bit. He wanted to date, I’m not in a place to date, but apparently he told a lot of people we were dating and that we were doing quite a bit of other things. It takes a lot to get me upset, and finding this information out made me quite irate since not a single thing he said was true. But, I came to the realization that if people want to believe this information fine, but those that meet me and know the real me, would know that what he was saying was not true. Even though, my marriage has ended and that my separation started last December, I’m still not in a place where I am comfortable dating. I just want to get out, make new friends, and have some fun while figuring out life. That’s all. No boys for me.

On Sunday, I headed to church, had a rainy picnic with a friend, went to a BBQ where I only knew one person and I’ve only known that person for a month. That was definitely an experience, I greatly enjoyed myself but I still haven’t quite gotten over my initial quietness when I meet new people. I was at the bbq for about 5 hours- it really was a good time but I got home much later than expected and was too tired to study since I had only had a total of 8 hours of sleep within the past 3 days. On my way home, my brakes on my car started going out.

I decided to take my car in this morning and thought it would just be a ½ hour appointment and I would be able to get to work on time. Nope, 3 hours later I am still sitting here at the brake shop. Apparently, the parts they need are at a warehouse downtown and they need to wait for someone to bring them down. This unexpected event might frustrate some people, but I look at it as a blessing in disguise. I have a large exam for my accounting class on Wednesday and since I pretty much live out of my car, I had all of my accounting books in my car which made it possible to spend the last three hours studying. Not exactly what one would want to do on what would be considered a vacation day but I’m able to study and hopefully will do a lot better on this test than on the quiz I had this past Wednesday.

On another note, I still haven’t received the files and letter from Josh. I am starting to get annoyed as I’ve wanted these files since May. It is now October and I still don’t have the files. The letter will be in the package as well and I am quite nervous to read the letter. It’s been interesting because as I’ve started to meet people through the various organizations I’ve joined- I’ve been given lots of compliments and have been told numerous times that I have a smile that lights up a room (which I still don’t necessarily believe but it is fun to hear) and that I have a positive aura about me where people can tell after talking to me that I am a genuinely nice/good person. While, it does help to hear these things- I can still hear the list of everything that Josh said was wrong with the relationship and me as a wife. This list just keeps turning and turning in my head. One would think that after so much time, it would start to go away. I admit, it’s not as hard as it was when he first left- it still is hard. Lots of little things pop up that make me think about him or questions are asked that I really don’t have any clue on how to answer. For example, at the barbeque yesterday, most of the people were from the east coast and I was talking about when I lived in Connecticut. People then, of course, ask how I ended up in Connecticut and how I ended up here. Well, the honest answer is “my husband at the time was transferred to Connecticut and my husband at the time was accepted on full scholarship to the U of M’s business school”. I’m torn on how to answer because I can say I moved out to Connecticut to go to school, and being that I was accepted to much better programs- sometimes I don’t like admitting to where I went to receive my Master’s since it wasn’t where I would have chosen to attend. At the same time, I hate saying “my husband at the time” as it usually then proceeds to the question- “oh, what happened.”.