Bridge Collapse and feelings.....

On Wednesday, for some unknown reason I decided to turn around and go to a coffee shop instead of taking one of my typical routes home.
This is quite strange, as I do not drink coffee and rarely stop at a coffee shop. This happened just a little before 6, right near the bridge.

At 6:20, I came out of the coffee shop and had no idea why there were so many cars stopped and fire trucks, ambulances, etc flying past my car. I turn on the radio and hear about the 35W bridge collapse. There are so many stories of people deciding to go off of his/her typical routine and I was also one of them. What a strange world, we lead. After sitting in my car pretty much in shock, I decided to follow people down to "see" the damage. This isn't something I would normally do but I did. Everyone was in shock, people were rushing to try and find loved ones, calling to make sure loved ones were okay. It was a very different experience. Working at the university that is right next to the bridge, I thought about all of the students and staff that could have been on the bridge, my now ex-husband, friends, neighbors, family, etc and I was greatly panicked. For me, it just reiterated how short life can be and how everything can change in an instant and many other people were expressing the same feelings. I'm amazed at the stories I've heard about the people on or below the bridge and some surviving with just a couple bumps and bruises, people getting rescued, and people jumping in to help out. I can't imagine what the families of the victims must be feeling and my heart, thoughts, and prayers go out to all of them.

When, I was there I know Josh sometimes takes that road and sometimes at the bridge and was greatly concerned. I tried texting and calling him and the text message only said "just checking in to make sure you are okay, please text back". Considering the circumstance, nothing that I thought was too horrible. After a couple hours, I still hadn't heard anything back and a gentleman down at the river asked if everything was okay, I briefly told him that I didn't know if my ex-husband was on the bridge at the time and wasn't sure if he was okay. We ended up speaking for a long time and tried to help console and help others looking for their loved ones. Strange how life works, just from that short conversation we have now become friends. Still not hearing from him, I was getting quite concerned and text messaged the one friend who remained friends with both of us (though, Josh doesn't know that we remained friend and would not be happy, I just don't get it) to see if he had heard from Josh and he hadn't, he responded with "I haven't heard from him but I rarely do, anyway". Finally, after about 3 1/2 hours, my friend text me that Josh was okay and Josh did end up texting me with "yep,i'm okay". I'm very glad he was okay but the whole incident just me re-think life and re-think what type of person I want to be in life.

Everyone here is still pretty shook up. On Thursday, the department heads at work had to check in with all departments to make sure all staff were accounted for and all right. Being right next to the site, we've had the helicopters hovering above us and we've worked with some understandably very frightened freshman to be. The whole thing is completely surreal. Here, I've been complaining about my separation and divorce, the pain that I've felt throughout the past 8 months and it reminded me of how selfish I can be, there are so many things in this world that are much more important, there are starving children here in the states and all over the world, there are countries that are completely war torn, there are people still trying to recover from Hurricane Katrina and the list just goes on and on. I'm now taking a good look at myself to figure out what I can do to help make a positive difference in the world, even if it is something small. I'll still be writing on here because the divorce is painful and I do need to express my feelings and go through the divorce recovery process but I will also need to put energy into finding ways to make a positive impact in this crazy world.

I also wanted to thank all of my friends from all over the country that e-mailed, called, etc to check up on my family and me once they heard it on the news. I feel blessed to have the friends I have.

As the rescuers still work on recovering more cars and debris from the river, my heart goes out to everyone affected by this tragedy, I can't imagine how it must be for the families waiting to hear, the survivors who walked away with minor aches and pains, the survivors still in the hospital on the road to recovery, the construction workers, the rescue workers, the families still hoping and waiting to hear about the missing.